It’s one thing to know that a tomato is a fruit, and another to put it in a fruit salad. Although, the human race has achieved some of the most amazing feats in the field of technology, however, there are moments when our creative minds tend to overdo it, and before we know it, we’re munching tomatoes into our fruit salad.
So for today, I have compiled a list of tech inventions that I think are hilarious as well as ridiculous and downright useless in nature. Let’s take a look at them:
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1. NVX 200 Speaker Phone – Make your smartphone oldschool
The NVX 200 targets a pretty specific niche – businessmen. It’s basically a dock that converts any mobile phone into a desktop phone. It’s great for conference calls as it has physical buttons for speed dials, easy muting and eliminates distracting microphone noise for better clarity.
Now that’s a good idea… if you lived in the 1950s. I mean it’s great until you realize that the NVX200 is nothing but a glorified bluetooth speaker only your rich uncle upstate would buy. All of its functionality can be replaced by a more decent bluetooth speaker, and you wouldn’t have to spend as much as the NVX costs.
2. USB Pet Rock – Because why not?
An upgrade to the original Pet Rock, the USB upgrade is now smarter. You can simply plug the USB cable into a free port, and let the USB Pet Rock do its magic, and unlike other pets, it doesn’t make noises, doesn’t poop on your sofa, and isn’t needy as hell.
In fact, it doesn’t do anything at all. You just put it there among the stack of papers, introduce it as your pet and tell stories about it. You will love this piece of rock like Patrick Star ever did.
And because it doesn’t do anything, it’s compatible with any operating system, and spec of computer, and any powerbank. Sadly, like your iPhone7, it doesn’t have a 3.5mm jack, so suck it Apple!
3. Ringzero Logbar – A Kickastarter sad story
The Ringzero Logbar was dubbed with the CES Innovation award back in 2015. What does it do? Well, it’s mainly an input device used to control presentations and basic commands using gestures in the air. It can be used on almost all devices and boasts a multitude of actions that can be manipulated using gestures in the air.
I mean it’s great for presenting, but aside from that? It’s actually a weird device. Imagine coming across a person who’s moving his fingers in the air drawing weird squiggly symbols. You’d immediately freak as if he is some kind of wizard.
Plus it has some serious issues…
4. Air-Conditioned Shoes – My favorite
These Air-conditioned shoes promise a refreshing comfort during the summer. They are lightweight and popular, selling 6.7 million pairs between 2003 to 2016. (Wow!) It has features like moisture-permeable outsoles, mesh insoles laced with EVA, deodorizing and antimicrobial elements. It also has a shock absorption system all within this classy natural leather look.
Sounds dope, but think of how ridiculous this is. You are wearing a shoe… with an air condition unit in it. I mean, look at this guy’s face. It seems like he’s enjoying it, right? Right?
If you don’t blow anyone away with every step you take, then I don’t know what’s wrong with you.
PS: It also comes in different designs, and a sandal model too, if you’re into those.
5. Smart water fountain for your cat – who will most likely just ignore it
Pura is a smart water fountain for your pet cat. It’s beautifully crafted and ergonomically designed to fit your cat’s daily hydration needs. You can keep tabs on how much your cat is drinking, and make sure that your little furball gets what he deserves.
It’s a totally great idea, except cats are unpredictable. You’d probably regret buying one after you see your cat running for the box instead of this expensive piece of hardware.
6. Smart wine bottle
Kuvee is a smart wine bottle that makes sure your wine doesn’t get bad due to oxygen. What it does is it seals the bottle so you can get fresh wine when you need it. It’s also smart in a sense that it lets you know what wine you’re tasting, and you can even order using the bottle.
It almost didn’t make this list but I thought long and hard and realized that it’s something that I’ll actually want to have while working that knows how to close itself off and keep its content fresh, right? But then it dawned on me that, well, I have hands and the bottle has a label.
7. Belty, the smart belt
Another object we use on a daily basis that received the ‘smart’ upgrade, this smart belt claims to be the only intuitive and autonomous wearable that uses AI in making you healthier. The website says this product can increase energy levels, improve wellness and ensure you don’t get a ticket from the fashion police.
It also helps you be better when doing simple tasks like walking, climbing stairs, and simply sitting idly. It can even “talk” to you as it sends you, (possibly NSFW) vibrations that will help you act suitably in certain circumstances.
This smells gimmick from the get go. A belt that sends vibrations to your waist to remind you to drink water? Personally, that sounds like a redundant wearable to me. If you have a smartwatch, you can get more functionality, with less gimmicks.
8. Anti-radiation underwear – for when the fallout happens
If you are one of those ultra-paranoid people and would want to protect your sperm or egg cells while removing all the unpleasant odor in your underwear, then this smart underwear is for you.
It’s an all-in-one garment solution made from pure silver-coated polyester threads (great for keeping the werewolves and vampires at bay) that claims to block radiation of cellphones, WiFi Signals, microwaves and more. It also cools your hooha while keeping it clean from bacteria and odor.
There is a lot of good technology out there, and these are the examples of tech that look good at first glance, and when you think about it more and more, it becomes a weird, ridiculous invention.
It only proves that you just don’t buy everything you see on kickstarter, or wish for something that seems to be useful at initial look. Technology should be useful until its replacements arrive, and having a big paperweight may well be a waste of investment.