This Valentine’s Day, you are probably dreading being alone again. More so, if you have no luck in the dating department despite having met up with more people, than you can count in your lifetime. Or perhaps this could be the first time you will have to face this day alone — post break up.
If you are the latter, you’re going to hate the flowers, chocolates, and the lovey-dovey display around every corner you turn. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Who says you need to have a significant other to be happy this Valentine’s Day?
Life is too short to waste your time searching for the one just so that when this day comes around every year, you can be like everyone else who seemingly has it all together. Instead, why not take this day (or any other day, really) to celebrate your singleness?
The first thing anyone should learn to do is to love one’s self. That’s easier said than done as most of us are too hard on ourselves, preferring to hate ourselves for all our flaws, particularly after surviving a breakup.
Don’t think that this is an exercise where you have to love yourself first before someone else will (the world doesn’t work like that), but there is some merit in getting to know and to be kinder to yourself, more so when you are not feeling your best.
By loving yourself, you can learn to be by yourself and to take pleasure in it. By taking care of yourself, you can rest and not crash and burn when submitting to the world’s demands. By appreciating yourself, you’ll be in a better position to understand others and a bit more empathetic in identifying with them, especially when they are going through a tough time themselves.
One of the best ways to love yourself is to treat yourself to beautiful things every once in a while because you deserve it. So go ahead and have that ice cream cone (in the flavor you like) on a hot day or a whole tub of it when you are feeling down. You can afford to have a tummy now — no one is going to complain.
Don’t be afraid to splurge on that beautiful clothing you see at the window display or have a nice sit-down dinner after doing an excellent job at work. Grab candy that reminds you of your childhood, without feeling childish about it.
Treating yourself can also mean doing things for yourself and by yourself. You don’t need approval from anybody either. There is no greater joy than to watch that movie you have been waiting for since the first trailer release instead of being dragged to yet another horror film or chick flick you have little interest in.
As mentioned before, there’s nobody and nothing holding you back from doing things for yourself. Likewise, you are in the best position to improve yourself as a single. Of course, improving yourself is subjective, like advancing your career, changing your job, or giving back to the world by volunteering.
But it can also be the little things like learning how to cook (the handy skill to have regardless of your sex) or how to do your plumbing. It can be taking up a new, challenging, or obscure hobby. It can be learning to play an instrument or a new language. Heck, you can even go back to school to pursue that course you like.
You have all the time in the world to enhance yourself. As they say, YOLO and your single life is the best time to do everything you’ve always dreamed of.
As you go about on your quest for self-improvement, you will eventually “find” yourself. I can’t guarantee that it will be a straightforward road, but in due time you’ll find out. Somewhere down the road, you will find that you have changed from your past self and perhaps emerged as a better, stronger, wiser you.
Take the opportunity to travel because what could be a better way to experience the world, tick off your bucket list, and find yourself, than a soul-searching journey into the unknown? Nothing is holding you back from exploring the world. You have no ties and being unattached; you don’t have to report in every two seconds or reply a message when you’re dead tired from a great day outdoors.
Embrace your looks, your quirks, your thoughts, your beliefs, whatever it is that makes you, you. Find that which defines you. Do things that you know you will enjoy based on your interest instead of what others want or expect from you. If that includes bingeing on a snack and a 5-season series, on your couch, in your pajamas, do it unabashedly and unapologetically.
As a single person, you have no one to impress, and you do not need to meet other people’s expectations. You do not have to dress up for anyone but yourself — choose to do it on the days you feel like it for yourselfÃ¢ÂÂScratch that. Dress however you want as you think best reflects yourself.
Remember, you are your person. Be so busy being yourself as you go about finding, improving, treating, and loving yourself that you realize that being single is just as fun, if not better.