{"id":27139,"date":"2016-07-22T21:01:55","date_gmt":"2016-07-22T13:01:55","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.hongkiat.com\/blog\/?p=27139"},"modified":"2022-07-17T22:03:39","modified_gmt":"2022-07-17T14:03:39","slug":"facebook-parenting-yays-nays","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.hongkiat.com\/blog\/facebook-parenting-yays-nays\/","title":{"rendered":"Why Facebook Matters for First Time Parents"},"content":{"rendered":"

Since you were crazy enough to become a parent<\/a>, here are some avenues on Facebook to help you cope. With the advent of my son\u2019s first birthday, I\u2019ve been reflecting on the inaugural year of my parenthood and have come to realise that Facebook has played a big part in it.<\/p>\n

Well, as it is with everything in life, there was both good and bad that came out of it. Here\u2019s a little glimpse of how it influenced my journey into parenthood and how it can enhance yours too<\/strong>. If you\u2019re a new parent or will soon become one, this post is most certainly for you.<\/p>\n

Preloved goods<\/h2>\n

There\u2019s an extensive online community<\/strong> for the buying, selling and trading <\/strong>of \"preloved goods<\/strong>\" (read: second hand items) in Facebook nowadays. This includes children\u2019s products.<\/p>\n

Be it toys, clothes, safety gates or strollers, if there\u2019s an item you\u2019ve been eyeing for your child but can\u2019t afford to buy it for them brand new, you might be able to find a preloved version that\u2019s within a more affordable price range.<\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t\t\tRead Also:<\/strong>\u00a0\n\t\t\t\t\t33 Reasons Work From Home Parents Are Tougher Than You Think<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n

\"Delivery<\/figure>\n

Not only that, if you find yourself wanting to do a little housekeeping and to clear out some of your children\u2019s stuff<\/strong> which are no longer in use (eg clothes the baby has outgrown), you could also put them up for sale on a preloved goods group (assuming it\u2019s in respectable condition, of course).<\/p>\n

I sold off an old ring sling of mine this way. It was a rather smooth process. Once I had a confirmed buyer, I received payment and posted the item out within the same day. On other occasions, I made new friends or managed to learn new things about baby products while befriending sellers on such groups.<\/p>\n

Be Careful<\/h3>\n

However, I should issue a little word of advice: Please exercise a reasonable level of caution<\/strong>. There are plenty of fraudsters<\/strong> out there.<\/p>\n

Even those who aren\u2019t out to deceive may still end up going back on their word<\/strong>. I dealt with a potential buyer once who was so keen on a Cash On Delivery sale, but went eternally silent on me on the day we were to supposed to meet.<\/p>\n

So do background checks if you must, don\u2019t be too gullible<\/strong> and trust your gut feelings.<\/p>\n

Recommended Reading:<\/strong> 8 online shopping traps to avoid <\/a><\/p>\n

Most preloved groups have their own accountability system. One of the groups I am part of requires each seller to set up a feedback link<\/strong> whereby past buyers can drop comments about their experiences<\/strong> with that seller. Hence, you can easily see how reliable that seller is through their feedback link.<\/p>\n

Peer support<\/h2>\n

Becoming a parent opens up a whole new realm of friendship. In fact, with social media, it is even more so as it makes it easier for you to find others who are also new parents<\/strong> and who are facing similar experiences as you are (eg: breastfeeding problems, teething woes, weaning tricks).<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve found it surprisingly easy to bond with total strangers<\/strong> on Facebook through conversations about our children. In fact, I\u2019ve met a fellow breastfeeding mother who suffers from eczema like I do; another delivered her baby in the same hospital that I had (we joke about bumping into each other there someday).<\/p>\n

There is a wealth of knowledge that people who you haven\u2019t met in real life can share with you. But while it is wonderful to meet and greet other parents online, you\u2019d still need to be careful how much personal information you share<\/strong> about yourself and your family.<\/p>\n

Stick to talking about common experiences<\/strong>, for example, teaching a child to read, and leave out details such as where you live, where your child goes to school and the like.<\/p>\n

Entertainment<\/h2>\n

After the arrival of my baby, I decided to quit my full time job and become a freelance writer who works from home. While this has been a decision I have never regretted, it is sometimes dull to be marooned indoors<\/strong> day after day with limited adult interaction<\/strong>. You will need a bit of comic relief every so often.<\/p>\n

Social media is a great resource when it comes to these sort of things. Many other parents, particularly new ones, have taken to producing comic strips and various other forms of entertainment to depict the crazy realities of parenting<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

What makes it especially amusing to me is the discovery of how common certain experiences, emotions and thoughts are to every parent, regardless of where they\u2019re from, and how so many<\/em> of us use humor to cope<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Take, for example, the Best Case Scenario<\/a> photos captured by photographer, Danielle Guenther or Fowl Language Comics<\/a> which will probably bring on some heartfelt laughter due to the uncanny similarities you\u2019ve found in comparison to your own life.<\/p>\n

\"Fowl
IMAGE: Fown Language Comics<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Exploding Unicorn<\/a> has the right outlook in life especially when he is surrounded by 4 kids. Bad Parenting Moments<\/a> teaches you about the importance of having wine stocked away in the house.<\/p>\n

Be prepared for some judging<\/h2>\n

While there\u2019s lots of positivity out there on Facebook about parenting, there\u2019s also plenty of trolls and insensitive folks too. Sometimes, when a discussion gets too heated, things do get ugly<\/strong>. Or abusive. Or really personal.<\/p>\n

Some examples of polarising topics include child immunisation programs, to breastfeed or not, to be a stay-at-home mom or go out to work, to homeschool or not, the type of school to send to, etc.<\/p>\n

Knowing when to chime in<\/h3>\n

Whichever view that you subscribe to in these topics, what\u2019s important is to remember that it\u2019s every parent\u2019s prerogative to decide what\u2019s best for their own children<\/strong>. It\u2019s best if we leave that to their judgment rather than trying to impose our views on others.<\/p>\n

And while we may not be able to curb the behaviour of others on Facebook, we can be vigilant about our own responses<\/strong>. Before typing out a reply or posting some new content, it\u2019s wise to consider why we are doing so<\/strong> and whether it is more of a help or hindrance<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

For me, that means sometimes choosing not posting something right away<\/strong>, but rather, letting the idea sit in my head for awhile before putting words to it. There are times where, having waited it out a bit, I realise that what I had originally wanted to say really isn\u2019t that important after all and I decided to just let it go.<\/p>\n

But even when I do decide to go ahead and join the conversation online, I usually find that there far fewer disadvantages to having chimed in late<\/strong> as compared to voicing out first only to regret it later<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

Paranoia and unrealistic comparisons<\/h2>\n

It\u2019s common for users to share articles they have read and found to be enlightening but many people absorb the content of articles without first verifying whether the source of that information is trustworthy<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

There\u2019s a lot of fear mongering<\/strong> and falsehood<\/strong> that goes on around the Web. Take, for example, this article<\/a> about how a baby was blinded by camera flash, which turns out to be completely untrue<\/a>. It\u2019s easy to get caught in the vicious cycle without realising it.<\/p>\n

Recommended Reading:<\/strong> 20 things savvy Facebookers should know (by now)<\/a><\/p>\n

Another one of the dangers of Facebook is the unhealthy way that it makes us compare our own parenting skills to the skills of others.<\/strong><\/p>\n

For example, someone shares an update about their 6-month-old baby being able to pull himself up to a standing position while your little one isn\u2019t showing any signs of even wanting to stand.<\/p>\n

Then, you start to worry: Is my child experiencing a developmental delay? Is my child abnormal? Should I go to the doctor\u2019s?<\/p>\n

Another example is when you have that<\/em> friend whose feed is full of photos of their daily scrumptious home-cooked, gourmet-styled meals (that\u2019s the one), while you have to settle with takeaway or yesterday\u2019s leftovers.<\/p>\n

\"cake<\/figure>\n

It doesn\u2019t make you a failure but being on Facebook may make you entertain the thought that perhaps you were.<\/p>\n

Share the struggles too<\/h3>\n

Well, the cause of your woes is oversharenting<\/a>. It\u2019s when some parents do the humblebrag but overdo it to the point where it affects their children, their parenting friends, and sometimes themselves.<\/p>\n

When this happens on a \"social network\", you can\u2019t stop your friends from posting (or boasting) endlessly about their children, but you can curb your own impulses to do so.<\/p>\n

If you really need<\/em> to post about something, try being honest about both your success stories and your struggles<\/strong>, instead of glossing over the difficulties <\/strong>and dampening the realities of being a parent<\/strong>.<\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t\t\tRead Also:<\/strong>\u00a0\n\t\t\t\t\t15 Creative Parents and Children Photos That Truly Inspire<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n

When you are honest, it opens the door for other parents to be honest as well. And at the end of the day, even though each family \u2013 and each child \u2013 is unique, we still have to change the same smelly diapers and avoid projectile vomiting like the next parent.<\/p>\n

Conclusion<\/h2>\n

Parenting is one crazy roller coaster ride, but it\u2019s a journey worth taking<\/a>. And things like Facebook really do help ease the tension<\/strong> every so often. It\u2019s the place you can pop in and out of whenever you can for a healthy dose of ideas or inspiration.<\/p>\n

Just have your own method of dealing with the negative side of things<\/strong> whenever it rears its ugly head. But on the whole, it\u2019s really loads of fun<\/strong>, so I hope to meet you through some parenting group out there some time.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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